My Last Regret
by I Want It Painted Black
Summary: Have you ever been hurt so badly by someone you care for, that all you desire from that point on, even if it kills you, is to make them regret it? Yet in the end, the only one who regrets anything, is you. Rated M for future chaps.
1. Regret

A/N: Nyah... hi to all. This is my very first fanfic and I'm scared as hell because I haven't the SLIGHTEST clue as to how all this works. Anyways, I first thought up this a while ago (like... last year O.o) when I was in a really twisted mood. So, I decided to vent by day dreaming, and this is what came up. I really really hope you enjoy, and feel free to flame, but please, go easy on me T.T

**Chapter One**

As Thunder and Lightning crashed outside over the large lake, two violet eyes peered outside through the small opening of the black silk curtains that consumed the room beyond the large windows. Raven stared darkly out over the lake, watching the sparks caused by the two playful brothers from above flash multiple times over the violently thrashing lake. She stepped away, clutching the only friend she had over the past few days closer to her- her reflection… her mirror. She looked down at the reflective object, even through the darkness that was only broken by the occasional flashes of lightning Raven could see herself. Her hair that was once so silky and violet was now so dark it looked black and was frizzed and greasy to the point of where it almost looked like wire. A few of the dark strands stuck to the sides of her face that was covered with stains of tears and sweat. Raven closed her eyes; she did not need to see the rest of her to know she looked like shit. How long had it been since she last left her room?… two weeks? Three weeks?… she didn't know. '...What started this?' Raven asked herself for the fourth time today as she looked back into the dark reflection of herself. What had caused her to stay in solitude for so long…? She watched the mirror, her eyes focusing on the reflection before her. Within moments, the little row that went between her and her green teammate came back to her. Raven could barely remember what it was about- maybe BeastBoy just complaining about her 'freakiness' again? She didn't know. All she could remember was how much it had hurt, and how much she wanted to get back at them all.

She could remember telling Robin straightforward "I want to be alone for a while. No matter what, don't DARE come and bother me." Then simply stomping away. Knowing Robin, he'd insure that she was alone for as long as it took, no matter how much it killed the other Titans. Raven knew it was wrong to take advantage of Robin like that- normally she wouldn't have done anything like that. Robin was her most trusted friend in the world- and this most certainly was no way to treat someone like that. But recently, something inside Raven had changed. Even though she couldn't let herself get out of hand with her emotions, she could still feel _some_thing's. And what she recently began to feel was a deep pain inside her chest; she became lazier, quieter, and more solemn. One day, long before all of this, when she finally forced herself to seek help, she went to Robin. His response was that it was just depression. "Everybody gets it." He said, in his annoying tone full of concern and caring that had always subliminally mocked her, "you'll get over it eventually." But she never did get over it. 'That's what it was about…' Raven thought again as a memory that had been buried deep within her since she silenced herself in her room reawakened. She could remember the fight between her and BB clearly now. After a particular depressing day, Beast Boy finally lost all his patience with Raven and exploded. His voice entered her mind, she could hear the green boy screaming things about how she was never open with the people who cared for her, how all she would do when they asked what was wrong was wave them away as if they wee simple annoying roomies. She could then hear herself in her dark tone filled with hints of anger. Screaming something about how he had no business about what went on inside her mind, about how she hated how he always had to stick his nose where it didn't belong, and so many other things between them that ended with her speaking her words to Robin, the last thing any of them heard from Raven, then stomping off in anger.

"Damn…B…B…" she could only barely speak the words. Her throat was so dry and parched from the lack of water, she was surprised she was still able to speak even if it was just the tiniest squeak. Since she had left the light of the menacing society and retreated to the darkened comfort of her room, she never came out again, not even once. She had had a stash of tea, four large bottles of water and just enough ingredients for two sandwiches in a tiny fridge by her bedside she installed eons ago. And being a half demon, Raven could go longer without food, water, or oxygen than any human ever could. Unfortunately, since there was so little in the fridge, she had to make it last. Even if it meant going through the extreme pain of what she went through now with a dry, cracking throat, Raven would not leave her room. Not to eat, fight, bathe, or even go to the bathroom. Raven winced only slightly as that thought occurred to her. She looked over on her ruffled bed, barely seeing the nasty mess through the darkness, and shuddered. It was True, almost all she did in the past few weeks was lay on her bed, never getting up to do anything but drink a little bit of water, and take a bit of moldy sandwich every few days. Even if it meant basting in her own shit. Other than that, all she did was lay there, practically a corps that could breathe.

"But…. Why?" she asked herself again in her little church mouse voice. She thought a moment… and there it was. It was their pain. Yes, it was their pain that gave Raven the reason and will power to keep going in here. The pain, worry, concern, fear, regrets. Oh, the sweet regrets. Raven felt a small smile creep up on her cheeks as the pain of depression inside her began to slowly disappear. She could feel it all, Robin's concern, Starfire's worry, Cyborg's Fear, And Beat Boy's regrets. Raven's dry tongue slid over her lips as she thought of BeastBoy, sitting in his room and remembering the way he had angered her, wondering if she was still even alive after all these weeks of solitude. It was wonderful. Raven knew perfectly well she was acting like an immature child, but she no longer gave a fuck. The world sucked, life sucked. She already lived a life of being the hero, saving the city from total destruction. But when it was her turn to be the helpless civilian, no one was there to save her. So why should she continue saving others? Her eyes narrowed as the mirror she still clung to gave off a dark red aura, and a deep sinister voice entered her mind, repeating old, familiar words:

"Anger shall overcome you."

"It has…"

"Hatred shall consume you."

"It has…"

"Now hate them."

"I do…"

"Spite them..."

"I will…"

"Kill them…"

"…"

A/N: ah, thas all for now hope you enjoyed. Please review.


	2. Fallen Star

Ah... my second chapter... thanks for the nice reviews, all. Anyways, I'm planning to keep this story three to five chapters long at max. It was originally gonna be a one shot, but now i'm kinda glad it's not ... . I rhymed. Anyways, sorry for the lengthy time it took to update, while I was writing the oringinal chappy 2, my computer all of a sudden decided to fuck up to the point to where I had to restart it. and when I did, I forgot about saving T.T feels like a dumbass, Anyways this chapter will deffinately SUCK ASS compared to the last, but I promise to work harder on chappy three. Last thing, I'm thinking about changing this to Horror in the next chapter... we'll just see.

**Chapter Two **

Robin sat into the couch, lazily flipping through the channels, trying to find the one channel that would take his mind off of the whole thing with Raven. The one channel that would just brush away all his problems. The one channel… that he had been searching for three and half fucking weeks! Robin sighed frustratedly, he was tired of this whole damn thing. He was tired of constantly sitting around, unable to do anything as his best friend remained isolated and alone. He hated it! He hated It! He hated being so damn useless! He couldn't even fight as good now, because all his mind could revolve around was how he could fight monsters, psychos, and other freaks when he couldn't even bring himself to help his best friend! Robin thought, as he continued switching through the channels irritably, hardly noticing as the ever so innocent Starfire walked through the door, her hands behind her back as she shyly approached Robin. The young Tammeranian knew Robin wasn't in the best of moods, she could sense the vibes of irritation slowly rising off of him like steam on a hot day, but she had to try again. She couldn't sit back and watch the days go by like this anymore. She took a deep breath then said in a soft, shy tone "Rob-" "Shut… The hell.. up." Robin said in a low tone that she had never heard before. The Alien blinked as Robin interrupted her. Sure, he had been irritated with her at times, but he never told her to 'shut the hell up'. Starfire bit her lip, she could easily see, even through her alien eyes, that Robin was irritated. She knew that maybe the best thing to do right now was shut up, then walk away. Walk away and do what, though? All she's ever done over the past couple of week was shut up and walk away! She looked at Robin, seeing only the back of his spiked head, partially glad for that as she didn't think she could look him in the eyes- or rather… the mask. She drew a breath, paused, then tried again "Please Robin, you mus-" Starfire stopped as she saw the flashing TV turn black, and Robin's body rising from the couch.

Starfire ran out of the room, tears of sorrow streaming from her deep green eyes as she made her way down the dark hall. She stopped right outside Raven's room, and stopped to catch her breath. She originally would've flew, but after the brief, but harsh scolding she got from Robin, she was too sad to feel The Joy Of Flight. Starfire whipped the tears away with her arm, sighing sadly as her mind replayed Robin's scolding over and over again. She had never seen him so angry, not even when he was obsessed over slade… Starfire was so deep in her thoughts, that she nearly screamed once she felt something wrap around her foot. She gasped loudly and whiped her head to look down at her foot, only to have a wave of relief washed over her as she saw what was wrapped affectionately around her foot, was Silky.

The Young Tammeranian frown faded into a bright smile as she gently picked up the infant moth, lightly poking its soft belly, to which it responded with a giggle and squirm. Starfire's smile widened, seeing the you larva she had such a maternal love for so happy had lifted her sad mood quite a bit. "Silky!" Starefire squealed with happiness. "Robin finally is going to let me go help Raven!" The alien spoke cheerfuly as she hugged the infant moth to her. "Would you like to join me in helping Raven, Silky?" Again, the fat little worm replied with a happy giggle. With that, The Alien poked the giggling Larva's soft belly once more, giving a giggle of her own as she watched it squirm, then turned to Raven's door and knocked three times.

The steel door slid open, making a light screatching sound as it did. 'Probably from the lack of use...' Starfire thought to herself, noticing the rusted edges around the door as she slowly and quietly entered the dark room. The Tammeranian nearly gagged as the disgusting stench reached her sharp, alien nostrils when she entered. Starfire may have been slow on certain things, but she wasn't stupid. She knew exactly what that smell was frtom "Oh, Raven... what have you done to yourself?" She muttered sorrowfully to herself. After a moment of coughing and gagging, Starfire's sharp nose quickly got used to the vile scent. She then lightly blinked her green, alien eyes as she held Silky closely to her, Starfire had never one been in Raven's room, and she couldn't help but let her eyes wander around at all the strange book cases, ancient Earth artifacts, and various voodoo looking objects. The Alien paused as her emerald eyes caught sight of something across the room that seemed... out of place, from this distance, though, she couldn't really tell what it was. Forgetting the reason she had come in here in the first place, and letting her curiousity get the better of her, she gently set down the young larva, who quickly began wiggling around, and currling itself up in a tight ball. Perhaps to get away from the discusting smell. The Tammeranian then made her way to Raven's vanity- where the object lay. Upon closer inspection, Starfire immediately recognized it as a mirror... but what would a mirror like this be doing in _Raven's_ room? She thought to herself as she picked it up, and examined it's white frame that was decorated all down the sides with heavenly markings and angel-like creatures. Just looking at the mirror, examining it, running her fingers over its white frame gave Starfire an odd feeling of... happiness. Joy, calm, warmth, love, so many wonderful feelings. 'It deffinately seems familiar' Starfire though to herself as she looked deep into her own reflection.

After a long moment of staring, the Alien realized she was floating. Starfire shreiked and quickly landed, gently placing the mirror back on the vanity, and the powerful feelings of happiness left her. Something about that mirror was just too familiar, it gave off a presence that the young Tammeranian was vaguly familiar with. Starfire looked down at the mirror a momment longer... and it was as if her own reflection jumped out of it and slapped her hard in the face. 'Raven's mirror!' Starfire thought with a loud gasp. Starfire had never actually seen the mirror before- Raven never took it out of her room. But she had recently heard enough about it to recognize it, and know what it was... yet, it wasn't exactly what was described to her. This thing gave her a feeling of comfort, it was beatiful, and... what monster?

_"It was really creepy, that thing. The first time I held it, I hadn't really noticed much about it at first. But just before that monster popped out, I got this... feeling deep in me," _she recalled Beastboy saying. _"I remember just this huge rush of negativity running through me, but before I had time to react, that monster-thing popped out and grabbed me." Beastboy had said with a shudder. "That's 'cause all of Raven's bad emotions are in there." Cyborg said, flipping through the channles on the couch not much farther from them. "And her good emotions?" Starfire asked curiously. Cyborg shrugged "They're in there too. I'm guessing at that time, they weren't quite as active. I'm not suprise either. After having a past like that, and believing I would have a future that's no better, I don't think I'd beable to be all skippidy-doo-da either." Cyborg said, though his speech had some humor to it, he spoke it seriously. Beastboy gave a guilty sigh "And I yelled at her for being like that... I'm so stupid." Beastboy said, his pointed ears lowering as he stared at the ground, "Hey," Cyborg began in a sypathetic tone "Don't-"_

Starfire let out a loud scream as something cold touched her shoulder. She quickly whipped around, and was just about to whip out her star bolts before catching sight of the one person she had meant to come in and see "Raven!" Starfire gasped, her green eyes sparkling with happiness as she pulled her into a hug. "Oh! Raven, we were all so worried for you! I am so glad you are alright!" The happy Tammeranian said as she pulled away, looking at Raven, who's face was hidden by her hair, with a large smile. "Please! Come with me, come see the others! They are all still afraid for you!" Seeing Raven gave no responce at all, not even the slightest movement to acknowlege someone had even spoken to her at all. "Raven, Please come out of your room... we all really miss you. Beastboy feels really bad for how he treated you, he regre-"

Before Starfire could finish her sentence, or even finish that word, she found herself flying backward with such incredible speed and force, it took her until she landed with a loud 'SPLURSH!' to even realize what just happened, let alone react. "R-Raven?" Starfire exclaimed through a trembling voice. She was about to stand back up, but when her hand touched the floor, and felt the sticky substance beneath her, the rest of her body became paralyzed. The young Alien slowly lowered her gaze, knowing exactly what was beneath her, yet looking none the less.

Starfire tried to scream as she saw the mess of pink ooz and yellow flesh beneath her. Her mouth was opened, her face went from orange to light yellow, and her green eyes looked like they were about to fall out of her sockets as she stared at what remained of her little Silky. If someone were to walk in right then, they'd wonder if they were in a silent theater rehers or something, for there was nothing but death-cold silence. As Starfire went through her shocked phase, Raven slowly began to aproach the Alien, Her bare feet making a light 'Tap Tap Tap' against the carpet- a noise that would remind one of a heart beat. Raven continued to move toward Starfire, Though her eyes were hidden, you'd have to be blind not to see the sinister grin on her white face. Starfire slowly looked up at her, her eyes now over flowing with a sea of tears that ran down her face like little rivers as she bit her bottom lip so hard, blood began to flow from it. Raven stoppen less than a foot before her, then slowly kneeled down infront of her. The young Tammeranian shook violently as she began to understand everything now. The Mirror was white and holy-likw now only because it held all of Raven's good emotions. And there was only one place that her bad emotions would be now. She looked up at Raven, and opened her mouth, barely choking out her own words as Raven spoke in a deep, almost masculin tone.

"You..."

"Azerath..."

"Are not..."

"Metrion..."

"Ra-"

"ZINTHOS!"

A gust of wind blew out of no where as Raven completed her spell, and the very last thing Starfire's once so pure and innocent eyes had witnessed before her entire world was covered with a black blanket of death, were those eyes. Those four horrible, red eyes.

Shit, I just killed Star T.T meh, well, hope you all enjoyed. Feel free to flame (I know I deserve it this time T.T) Hopefully next chappy will come MUCH sooner!


End file.
